On the highway to hell

Gosh, where to begin?

First of all, I'm so stressed out about school. Everyone is putting so much weight on my shoulders! Do this, do that, that's not good enough! NOTHING I do is good enough, and it's driving me insane! And the worst part is, there's nobody to blame for my failure than me.
Only I can flip my uselessness into success, I just don't know how?

My new years resolution was to do my best at all times! And you know what? My best just aren’t good enough!!! So what do I do now?


I had the worst day yesterday. I spend the entire day bingeing and purging. About 20 times and that's exclusive all the times I was rinsing... I even puked up a little blood up. I know, gross!! But I guess it was a scratch in the throat more than something serious. I have no idea what set this off. I think it was because I was alone and had purged my anti depressives... Arg. That was hell! I called Thomas, who was in the city with some friends, and told him to come home. I'm really embarrassed now, but I think it was good I got him home, because I was extremely sad and broken.

Today I’m all better but I’m tired and my throat burns. My fingers are chipped with teeth-marks and my face swollen. I hate bulimia. It sucks!


Love

Resolutions <3

So get this, I figured out my resolutions! I saw what some of you guys wrote, and it inspired me to write mine. As I said earlier, it will NOT contain ANYTHING with weight. That’s a no-no this year…

My new year resolutions

I will finish decorating my home, adding the final touch to my sweet apartment on fourth.

I will work harder on my education and try to perform my best at all times. In school and in life.

I will be nicer and neater towards Thomas and help more out around the apartment.

I will take my medicine and follow the doctor’s orders. Even when I feel like I know better.

I will be motivated to get out of my eating disorder and…. Yuck… Love myself…

I will be happy this year!!!!!!!

Love Cille

Something new, something blue

So x-mas is over. (Thank god). I got some nice gifts and I got to spend time with Thomas, so that was good.




Sigh. Next challange, New Years. I'm spendin my new years eve with my classmates and my boyfriend downtown in Copenhagen. I bought some really cool eye-lashes and some crazy glitter so I guess it can't go comeplitely wrong.



Mmmh I love new years. No because of the party, and certinly not because of the fireworks! But because of the "new". A fresh start, a do-over...

I think my new year's resolution will be to (for a change) something that hasn't got ANYTHING to do with weight... Maybe just food.... I don't know...



Do you guys know your new year's resolutions yet?



I have no idea what I shoud "wish" to change in the new year, 'cause on the one side I want to loose weight/be healthy/trendy but on the other I really should just focus on getting rid of my ED.

Blaah...





Love, love and more love

Cille