Sigh, my webcam. . .

ARG! I hate my wannabe webcam. I want to make a webcam post, but the darn thing dont work. Or, it does work I just can't figure out were the program to the webcam is! And I can't ask my boyfriend because if he knew I was going IRL on the internet his spider sences would tinkel and make me stay in the dark. "You never know who is out there, and if they are going to STEAL your identety!!"

Gez Louiz, I know it isn't all that "safe" to go worldwide with your real name, but its mostly unsafe for me cause everyone I hang out with will know what a total psyco I really am.. And my family will know how I really feel.. No more fake smiles, no more hideing, no more lies!

Sigh, I am sitting here at home, trying to do my homework, but as you see.. Im here blogging, that's a bad sign... And no Im not just skipping school cause I am lazy, I HAVE to do all thise assignments and it is killing me! I have NO TIME what so ever to write 1000 words for tomorrow... I wish I could run away. Pack my bags and run like hell, but my family would go crazy and find me in the end.

I was thinking of running away today.. Twice.. I had my bags out from under the bed, but I just couldn't run away from Thomas. He would be so.. Heartbroken if he ever came home to a note.

Sigh, it makes me sad just thinking about it.

Superchick. . . One of those days

It is just one of those days. . .

It is some of the lyrics from Superchick - Courage

I know the right words to say like "I don't feel well" "I ate before I came"

I don't know the first time I felt unbeautiful. The day I chose not to eat. What I do know is how I changed my life forever. I know I should know better. . .

Then someone tells me how good I look, and for a moment, for a moment I am happy

But when I'm alone. . . No one hears me cry

I need you to know, I'm not through the night, some days I'm still fighting to walk towards the light. I need you to know, that we'll be okay together we can make it through another day. . .

There are days when I'm okay. And for a moment. For a moment I find hope . .

But there are days when I'm not okay. . . And I need your help. . .

I just feel so... Streesed out with this... Obsession. . .

Thinspo of the day <3

Real girls we all love to hate and envy

Hmm, okay the last pic here... Shes a little creepy, I know.

Dinner at mammys...

Geez..!

Turns out, it is not that great to be on a strict diet when your mum is cooking your favourite dish, just ‘cause you are visiting her! God.. And then you get the mother-speech "Oh sweety, eat some more... You know I never cook... I only cooked for you!.. I love you, and you don't even want to touch my dinner!?!" Oh please.. I love my mum, but she is driving me insane! And if I finally eat something, then its suddenly: ”honey, have you gained a little weight lately..?”

I must admit, I ate some of it. 100g of beef (I guess, I didn't have a weighing machine) and two small pieces of broccoli. I know, it doesn’t really sound like the end of the world, but I felt that way…

I just feel like I already “failed”, you know, and that was only day one?

but, if you look on the bright site, I did overcome some obstacles, and I do consider those my small victories of the day, and even though I only said “no thanks” to one piece of cake and I just didn’t buy any lunch, it cheered me up.

I hope I can do a little better today :)

Count down

Okay, I have four days to loose about 5kg. Its goanna be seriously hard, it may even be impossible, I am aware of that fact. But I have to try! The party of the year is on my doorstep and I have a jellybelly?!
Nope, no more, in four days my diet will be consisting of:

Morning: 1 cup of laxative tea/or green tea -
200g of fruit (pineapple and strawberry, mostly)

Snack: 1 apple/banana - 0,5L of detox lemonade

Lunch: 1L of detox lemonade - Half a melon

Snack: 200g of strawberries - 0,5L/1L of detox lemonade

Dinner: 1,5L of detox lemonade

No bread, no rice/pasta, no candy, chocolate or sweets, no milk, alcohol or coffee, and NO smokes!! My “crash and burn” diet will ONLY contain fruits, water, tea, and detox lemonade. . .
And wile I eat nothing, I will work out two times a day!! Morning and evening!! I will go insane, no question about that.
My “minimum” accept for all this suffering: 3kg.

sigh. . .

Im already having cravings... Mostly for chocolate... My nemesis!!

New diet!

Okay second day on the blog.
Today I am planning on caching up on all my homework, work out, get my new shoes from the store, go shopping for my new diet (master cleansing/lemonade diet) and I’m goanna return my (late)books to the library. I am stressing out! I guess growing up really does sucks. Anyway, as I said, I am going on the MASTER CLEANSING diet for tree days only. I know it isn’t very long, but if I am on the diet for more then tree-four days, I’m goanna break down, and all my hunger would have been in vain.
For those of you, who are not familiar with the lemonade diet, here is a quick induction: When you are on the diet all your meals consist of a liquid citrus mix (which is very easy to make). You drink about 8-10 glasses a day, and every morning it really good to drink a cup of laxative tea.
Here is the mix recipe:

· The juice from half a lemon
· A small dash of cayenne pepper (and be careful with the pepper, it really strong!)
· Two tablespoons of maple syrup
· And about 1,5L water

I’ve heard from the documentary “Super slim me” that a lot of models are using the cleansing as a tool to loose weight fast, so I am goanna give it a shot.
Anyhow, wish me luck ; )

Freja thinspo

A Freja Beha thinspo

She is a 21 year'old WORLD known model and shes from the DK! Shes also my fav' :D

Measurements: 79-60-89 (EU)

Dress size: 34 (EU), 4 (US)

Shoe size: 39 (EU), 8 (US)

Height: 1.78 m (5 ft 10 in)

She was 15 when she got street-spotted, so Im already late!!

Diet coke. . ?

Hey, so I was thinking, why is it called “DIET” coke? Does that mean that if you drink a gallon of diet coke it will make you slim down tree dress sizes? Or does it mean you can drink it, like you drink regular coke, except DIET coke is healthy!?
Really? A lot of girls out there are practically living on that crap! Including me! I really think it is misguiding to call it diet coke, that’s how I first fell in with a plunge, sigh, but I guess you can’t do anything about it, you just have to live with the fact that almost ENYTHING is unhealthy!


Okay, but I didn’t want to make an entire post, bitching about coke, even though I easily could. Right now I am sitting (surprise) in front of my computer and drinking Pepsi Max and eating diet noodles. I shoulden’t be eating ANYTHING, cause I on a crazy water/green tea diet for two more days, but I fucked it up completely in school and ate the biggest clam/seafood salad with herbs (It was, by the way, sinfully good)! And then it happened, I got the feeling...


The dangerous feeling of; “I screwed it up already… The whole day is ruined… Why not eat some more? I fucked it up anyway!”
Well, that’s how I feel right now. I even walked down to the supermarket to find some Oreos; I was that depressed, but LUCKELY they were out… So, now I am eating noodles. They taste like hell. But I guess it is like when you get really mad and you are about to burst out all the stupid shit, you should never say.
You just have to stop, count to ten, and think about what you are about to do...

... Or quit?


I am the quitter...
I wish i wasn't...

But, when you quit, you dont really quit. You rewind and erase.