The smell of sunshine

I want some sun!!




Love Cille

Are you ready to get thin?

I know I am girls!

But first a little side note.
To minaralou: the centre (or the therapists) didn't really MAKE me do anything. Truth is I just didn't care what I ate for a time and I lost my grasp on holding a low weight as a hardcore overeater/bulimic... They ONLY make seriously underweight girls put on weight or seriously obese ones to loose... So... It's really just my own fault.
To disappear dorian: Thanks. And I know I talk a lot of crap about the centre, but it really isn't that bad. The therapists are really sweet and understanding and the girls in my group give a lot of support to each other and, of course, to the side of me that wants to be ED-free.


Now, let's cut to case, I want/need to loose some weight to be happy in my life as me. I weighed in at 69kg this morning and I want to weigh 55kg at the end of July.
I want to loose weight on my thighs, tummy, boobs, arms and face... Basically ALL OVER! Heh.

The way to do that is by using the tools I have. My general knowledge about food and body, my fitness centre and my bulimia...

• Every time I eat something of my naughty list it CAN NOT stay in my system!! I WILL NOT HAVE IT! I will ONLY eat from my goodie list ;)
  
• I will drink min. 2L water everyday
• I have to plan every evening meal so I don't binge in junk
• I will write down everything I eat (but I already do that for therapy)
  
• I will work out 4 times a week -3x1 hour pilates 1x1,5 hours fitness
• I will NOT eat over 1000kcal a day (so count count count!)
  
• I will sleep 8 hours every night!
• I will not give up if I slip, I'll just keep on trying!
  
• Every choice is chosen to be one step closer to thin.
  

One week from now I will evaluate on my plan and then I can add one more or elaborate what needs to be altered.

So that's the plan, and I honestly think I can do it. Here is some summer thinspo to set me off!









Love Cille

A question I ask myself over and over again

Why am I hungry?


When I don't wanna eat... I HATE EATING!! I freaking fucking hate it! I know that as humans we have to have something in the system, but why do I then choose to munch on crackers instead of apples? Why do I deliberately choose to eat the wrong thing?

I think I'm a food masochist...


Quick words about my day:
I woke up to the annoying sound of my boyfriend opening the blinds and the sunlight piercing my eyes! Very nice indeed yes.
And then I made breakfast. Eggs and bacon and one wholegrain bun -WITH NUTELLA (see what I mean by masochist?). I knew I couldn't purge 'cause Thomas was in the living room so I just felt how the food I just had consumed started to burn and decompose in my insides... Wow I feel so so so disgusted by myself even typing this...
Then my period kicked in! Ouch! I think my period pains can be measured to be a 7 out of 10 on the pain scale.
Great, puffy in pain and of course hungry I spend my day in front of my computer. Forcing to make time pass by watching Gossip Girl and Grey's Anatomy on Casttv.com...

Oh my god, to think you guys are actually interested in my boring boring life heh ;)

That was my day, I haven't been eating since morning but GOD HOW I WANT TO!! (I have the sickest crave for pasta/pesto right now)
My evening will go by with roasted pumpkin seeds, ice cold water, red cramps and my computer...
It's goanna be a looong night.
Thomas is at this fancy party -drinking his brains out- and I am unable to sleep alone (yes I am such a child). Sniff..
Poor me eh?


Here are some of my most valued pictures of people I imagine have a much simpler life <3







Love
Cille

Lucky Biatch. . .

She's so cool. I wish I had her skinny legs.

Love

A little something, something...

I just found some of these pictures yesterday and I decided to shear them with you guys.

Some are my personal storage of thinspo, others are just pretty and… fascinating.
I suppose.

Enjoy my sweeties.

love

Friday - sober

Thinspo 'cause I have nothing else to do...

I'm bored and sober

Love

Cille

Bitter -but Yeay me!!

I think I did it? I mean fixed the thing? Does it all look good to you guys?

Anyhow. I went to the gym today! For two hours, and I now feel really good about myself. I had a personal trainer who looked like a goddess! She was so beautiful… Perfect live thinspo. So I really pushed myself to the limit. Pouring sweat like a fountain!
Of cause I ate all night –mostly nuts and raisins. No dinner. I have willpower like jelly.
I can’t feel the pain yet, but I think I’m goanna tomorrow ;)

Feeling good and love you all!!!

Tribute

(Click to enlarge)

A little thinspo tribute to all ma skinny-ass-bitch-followers ;)

I adore you all <3

Hunger point. . .

"It takes diciplin to be thin!"

From the movie Hunger Point... I like the plot, but it's not a favorite.

Be thinspired <3

(click to enlarge)