Welcome back! I'm really flattered that so so SO many are following my blog! When I started I thought that nobody in the entire world would ever read my rather avarge words. So I'm really glad that somebody do, and that I'm writing something people can use or reflect to.
I am not doing so hot with my big fight with bulimia.Lately the urge to loose weight has been so strong that I'm falling back into my old pattern. Starve, binge, purge and starve again. My boyfriend has been so great about this whole thing and he has really become a strong allay but I feel like I'm being such a burden in his life that I don't wanna ask for help when I seriously need it!
Hmm. I weighed in at 68,07kg this morning (naked) and I was really happy for a moment! All like: "YAY!! GO ME!" But then I remembered that, that kind of emotion is a no-no (when you are trying to get rid of and ED) and that's the ED cheering -not me!
Shit. So I got all depressed because of the "naughty feeling" and how I still let the eating disorder get the best of me.
I went to pilates class (greatest form of workout EVER) at nine am and it was swell, but right after I went to the bakery and bought two mini cream and strawberry pies to me and Thomas... I don't know why I did it 'cause I didn't really feel the urge to something sweet... Maybe to sabotage myself?
I don't know. But I have been eating okay today. Both recording to my ED-recovery program AND recording to myself. The only "slip" was the mini pie and too much diet coke AND I'm properly goanna eat some chocolate I have in the kitchen.
So to avoid (future) binging I'm goanna put some (ED recovery) quotes and pictures on my kitchen cabinets to remind myself to THINK!
The ones that really caught my eye are these:
Self-love is the instrument of our preservation. - Voltaire
When the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence, it may be that they take better care of it there. - Cecil Selig
You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection. - Buddha
What a lovely surprise to finally discover how unlonely being alone can be. - Ellen Burstyn
Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.- Thomas Edison
Forget past mistakes. Forget failures. Forget about everything except what you're going to do now - and do it. - William Durant
You don't have to control your thoughts; you just have to stop letting them control you.- Dan Millman
Fall seven times, stand up eight. - Japanese proverb
If one is a Greyhound, why try to look like a Pekingese? - Edith Sitwell
If you're going through hell, keep going. -Winston Churchill
Lots of love