torsdag den 5. november 2009

The oddest thing

I know that starving doesn't work for a girl like me. I know that if I starve myself I will binge and my metabolism will slow and do nothing for me. The head doctor of The Miliestone (recovery center) said so... But I can't help thinking... They must be lying to me? They are just bad people who wants me to gain?

And to be hungry makes me FEEL like I'm loosing weight. I feel good, I mean not physically, but like I accomplished something by feeling the pain.


3 kommentarer:

  1. Yeah... I think the same things. "They're" lying to me. "They" want me to gain weight so I won't be thinner than "them." "They" don't want me to be sick. "They" don't want me to be in control. "They" will do and tell me whatever it takes to get me to eat, even if it's not true. I don't even know, still.

    Have you ever heard the song, Flowers Never Bend In The Rainfall, by Simon & Garfunkel? These particular lyrics come to mind, they just seem very appropriate to what you are mentioning. If you've never heard it, I strongly recommend listening to it on youtube or

    "Through the corridors of sleep, past shadows dark and deep,
    my mind dances and leaps in confusion.
    I don't know what is real; I can't touch what I feel,
    and I hide behind the shield of my illusion.
    So, I'll continue to continue to pretend
    my life will never end, and flowers never bend with the rainfall."

  2. I don't know if you have every seen the BBC documentary called Super Skinny Me (link here
    It was really funny in the one part where the girl lost 14 pounds in 2 weeks told the doctor how great she felt, he makes her go to a Psyc doctor and suddenly they want her off the program cause they think she's getting an eating disorder mindset. She says to that "I wish I lied." And they wonder why we lie so much!

  3. She lost weight drinking the master cleanse lemonade drink for a week and eating raw food only the 2nd week. Forgot to add that.