Ground zero

Haw'ye do everybody!

I sure am two fries short of a happy meal today!
Why? I'll tell you why!
I lost my two vacation pounds!! Woohoo! Go me *doing the happy dance*!
Back at ... pounds! Now there's only 50lbs to go. Still a LOT but at least I quit gaining!

Super duper then. My plan today was ultimately "don't eat", but we all know that usually ends in vomit and tears. Instead I'll try to stay below 500-1000cals today and then harvest the effect tomorrow.
I haven't eaten breakfast yet, only flushed one cup of coffee down at nine, so I guess I should eat something... But what? That's the question. I think I'll go with a brunch solution. Egg-white omelet on toasted dark wholegrain bread and fried tomatoes. No butter. No oil (my parents have this awesome pan -no grease needed).

Exercise? No problem I have to run all over town in heels today (job interviews) so I think I got it covered.

Wish me luck on diet and job lovelies!




Love Cille

Cherry on top

Hello lovelies!


Gosh, I'm so tired! Went to the gym yesterday -which wore me totally out- and again today. My arms, shoulders, butt and inner thighs are hurting like hell right now, but least it's the good kind of pain. I'll take the pain over the fat any day -and you know it!
My routine yesterday was intense and today I slacked it a little. 1km run (yeah yeah not nearly good enough but it gets my blood flowing just fine) then weights for 45 minutes. Finishing with pilates/yoga stretch and exercise.

Eating has been good... ish. I would wish I hadn't eaten some stuff but all in all I've made the better choice. The only slip I had was just now. I binged on 1 and a half piece of leftover pastry, but it's already out of my system. No worries.

I haven't weighed myself since the day after my return to Dk and at that point it was... High... Lets just say that. I gained a kg on Malta and it's killing me! It's so fucked up that I can't lose weight! I'm doing everything by the book! Or... Okay not everything, but I'm trying the best I can.

The next thing on my list is; late lunch, I always tend to push lunch close to dinner when I'm at my moms, so that I don't pig out on whatever (FAT) that might be served by my mom's boyfriend (better safe than sorry).
I'm starving right now, since I've only had a cup of coffee and a boiled egg today. Mmmmh, I can almost hear the salad I made this morning calling to me.
Okay gross, my mouth is watering!

(Brigitte Bardot -so gorgeous)

Hungry love
Cille

Back -also from Malta

Good evening everybody!


I am so SO sorry that I have been away for that long and eternally grateful that you all just kept on following. That's just wonderful!
The reason I've been gone is not that complicated.
Food has been too depressing to blog about, so therefore no blogging.

I'm fat and gaining and I have been lying to everybody (including myself) that it was okay, that I was okay. Somehow I really felt I was, okay, that is. I felt that I didn't care about weight and that I loved my "curves", but along came summer. A hot HOT summer, that required a very light dress code. Lose, lose, lose, situation: I'm fat in a bikini. Other girls are sexy in a bikini, and those who aren't -are fat, floppy and pale and I look just like them.
EVERYTHING is triggering and it's quite depressing. Ah about that I have taken myself off the anti depressing pills and that's really great! I'm officially NOT depressed any more, and that's a relief! Depression is such a buzz kill.

I just spend a week on the island Malta. It was a family vacation without Thomas (because he's in Quatar for business) and therefore not a pure rush of action. But then again vacations aren't meant to be that I guess..



It was so hot on Malta, and our room was without aircon. I was melting, and by the end of the week I was just a puddle on the floor. Or, I would have been, if it wasn't for the pool. The feel of being in icy water in the midday sun (37C in DK terms) is indescribable. Pure bliss.
The only problem is the walk of shame from the shaded lounger to the poolside. God I hate it, more than I hate when I can't find the calorie description. Fortunately the resort we stayed on was a family place so there weren't too many skinny girls with beady loathing eyes. Some, of course, but not a lot. The beach was worse, and we only went once.

The food was horrible! Fried, fried, fried! Lots of white bread, fat and bad service! Malta's kitchen sucks but at least that made me eat less.
I b&p'ed once on fluffy taffy (DO NOT DO THAT! HURTS LIKE HELL) and ice tea. My throat was on fire the rest of the holiday. The rest of the time I just purged. Ice cream and stuff are hard to avoid, easy to dispose.
I ate 3 meals a day, sometimes just 2, and they mostly consisted of:

• Breakfast - fruit + wholegrain bread with a little jam or turkey + coffee

• Lunch - salad or sandwich

• Dinner - fish, salad or meat with potato (boiled/fried)
  

And snacks: unsweetened ice tea/coffee/fruit/diet coke/ginger cookies from Nairns (48cals per biscuit) or nuts. And I drank in average 4L of water everyday.
To get enough exercise was tricky because of the life-threatening heat, but I found the pool to be a somewhat acceptable solution. I guess I spend 20% of my day, every day, in water.

All in all a nice vacation with my mom, her fiancée and my baby sister. AND I maintained (or perhaps even jump started) my perfect 'skinny mission' routine. I missed you, welcome back.

So that's that lovelies! take care and type to you later
If you have any questions, just ask


Love Cille

Sun and grass

Good morning girls.

So thanks for your great advice on the last post, I would love if you had some more!
But both the raw food diet and the lemonade diet is really hard to maintain with Thomas in the house. He would immediately be on my case about how I'm having a setback in recovery (which he would be right about...) and force me back in group. And, and, and, I haven't quite built up the discipline to go on a liquid diet yet.

Yesterdays food was a mess:
10.30 = Yoghurt (100g)
12.00 = piece of bred w salmon
15.30 = Bun w light cheese
19.00 = Pasta (in cream sours)
20.00 = Cherries strawberries + 2 mini muffins
- No purge 'cause of Thomas

It's a bit sad looking at it now... Not thaaat much food but a lot of crappy calories... Damn.

Today I started with 200g of yoghurt (160cal + 2,6g fat) and a cigarette (+1L of water).
So started good!! Weeh! For once!!!
I'm going to my mom's later and I guess we're going shopping. Looking forward to it!

Bring on the DIET TIPS girls!!! I adore them all!




Love Cille

Good morning people


I have a ton of things to do today and no idea how I'm goanna do them all!
But First and for most, I would like to welcome all the new followers who has joined the page the past months! Hello! And apologize for my crappy mood (which properly has reflected in my posts) and the lack of posts in general! Sorry!

I have been joggling some thoughts on how I can lose all my floppy tummy/thigh fat in time of Roskilde Festival (tree weeks tops) without driving myself insane!
I have to eat and I have to have time for life. Those are my only criterias.
Does it make me sound like I'm not dedicated to loosing weight, or is it just me? I mean everybody is asking the question "how do I loose weight?" and the answer is pretty simple -don't eat... But I CAN'T not eat for tree weeks, it would make me loose my mind! And besides I would die of binging.

I'm planning to make a beautiful mix of diet, diet pills and exercise. (Please dear god I can keep this from Thomas until I'm done!!)

Diet: ?
Pills: ? (Lipo Femme, Anoretix -yes it's really called that, Phentermine, Therma power, Xenical, Acomplia and/or Reductil) These are just some of the pills I have been researching.
Supplements: Bio C.L.A. + T, Weighlevel
Exercise: 4x7 days


My question to you guys is now:
What diet have worked best for you?
And/or have you experience with diet pill and which was the best?
Do you know any of the pills I have listed? DO they work?





Lots of love
Cille

...

It is Saturday today.

I feel like shit.
My apartment look like a war zone. I got my period (even though it isn't time yet). My legs are unbelievably fat. I have nothing to wear. I smell like puke. My hair is rotten and keeps falling out! Yesterday I failed my exam. I gained 2kg. I ate cake. I considered suicide two days ago.
I DISGUST MYSELF. My mum and Thomas keeps asking if I took my pills. My head hurts.


And right now I'm hungry and have no fucking idea what to eat -cause' I'm fat.


Today SUCKS!!! I FUCKING HATE TODAY!
I feel like banging my head against the wall till my skull cracks open so all the thoughts can get out!



Knows those days?









All the love I have
Cille

The smell of sunshine

I want some sun!!




Love Cille