Oh my god you guys, I cried so hard last night.
I have no idea what is wrong with me! I feel sad and broken, but at the same time I feel sedated. -Completely num in my entire being.
I wonder why I'm feeling so low at the moment. I mean I have everything I “need”. All the basic-needs are covered. And I have a sweet family, a wonderful boyfriend, nice friends and money enough. But I am still miserable!
It’s like all the bad things in my life just weigh more than all the good stuff in the end. You know?
I am sure somewhere in the world there's a girl who would kill to be me, just like I would kill to be somebody else, and I feel so selfish for crying my eyes out over my stupid perfect life. I wish I could quit whining and snap out of it. But I seem to be stuck in this illogical hell.
Right now I’m in school. I can’t really concentrate (I wonder why, you are blogging).
After last night’s weighing I decided to go off the “healthy” diet (NOT coming anywhere with that piece of sh*t!), and go on the ABC-boot camp.
I read about it yesterday, and it seems a little naïve. If you eat absolutely nothing for 50 days you will get pretty. Hmm… Maybe, but I’m goanna binge after tree, hehe.
I hate those, you-can’t-eat-anything-diets, but they seem to work… Sigh… The basics of the ABC-diet, is that you have 50 days and every day there is a maximum of calories you can eat. It doesn’t matter what you eat, as long as the complete calorie intake of your day stays under your “maximum”.
If you would like the schedule, I have it, and I can Email it to you.