A pill that makes your body resistant to fat. In other words, you shit your guts out if you eat fat, which sound great! I mean, I'm bulimic so laxatives isn't anything new to me, but I'm really concerned... I heard that people loose like 5kg in one week on that shit, but... Normally I restrict but what about binges? That’s goanna hurt! That’s the only downside to me so I guess I'm goanna buy the pills tomorrow. Have any of you guys tried Alli?
So today I'm having a good day, even though I have my period and my boyfriend is leaving for China tomorrow (his flight was moved). The sun is shining, birds tweeting and I feel good. Somewhat good that is. A little sad, but nothing suicidal heh. I ate a small bowl, no okay, a big bowl of cocopops with skim milk -I don't know why, but I don't have that fear of diary that most ED's have. Hm. But I also had a big cup of green tea and 3 glasses of water. I can't really stick to the SSPO. I want to eat like a happy pig when I'm with Thomas, so he doesn't worry when he's in China. Even though I'm planning a diet-frenzy in the month he's gone. 5oo cals a day, 2hours of gym and diet pills. Wonderland for a bulimic!
I don't care about getting better anymore. I just don't. I wanna lose weigh! And it's the only thing I really want! So to quote THIN: "Even if it takes dying to get there!"
All that crap about recovery! Fuck it! It's bullshit anyway. I can't get better, I just can't! So to spare myself the disappointment, I quit. Sigh.